Developmentally, the teenage years can be compared to a roller coaster ride!! Here are some ideas about riding that roller coaster and having a good time!

Find an activity your child enjoys and have the entire family participate, regardless of the age of his or her siblings. Begin to "loosen" the reins as his or her behavior warrants it. If she acts like a 5 year old, she needs firmer rules and guidelines; if she acts like a 25 year old, allow more freedom. Remember, children really do like firm, kind, sensible rules, no matter how much they may complain about them. Talk with your child - not just about school, but his or her interests, ideas, current events, family issues, etc. Establish a "middle school teenager welcoming" home. Have treats available that teens want. It's also appropriate to establish rules for visitors. Treat them with respect and expect respect in return. Show interest in school activities. Be aware of the school calendar and rearrange your schedule as much as possible. Establish "alone time" with your child. Take him or her out for a cup of coffee or a visit to the mall, etc.

Think of parenting as a "Benevolent Dictatorship"!!
Build a foundation of love, trust and respect
Give choices, ask questions
Don't give in to nagging, whining and pressure
When you say it, mean it, the first time
Be brief and specific
Use rules and routines
Think first, act or speak second
Re-assess expectations and rules as your child matures
Begin allowing your child to experience life according to his or her own dictates.
Sometimes, your child will choose contrary to what you want them to do - PICK YOUR BATTLES!! - Maybe a messy room is not your top priority (or maybe it is).

Allow your child to separate while remembering that he or she also needs boundaries.

Talk to other parents - we are all experiencing similar situations and feelings. Sometimes, you may just need to shake your head in bewilderment, but remember, you were also young once and knew everything....

"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." (Attributed to Mark Twain).